Here We Go Again;

Friday, February 27, 2009 ♥

♥ 4:07 AM

i miss these crazy people.

Labels: moments of '08

Thursday, February 26, 2009 ♥

♥ 5:21 AM

it was a blast going out with the three of them. loads of fun, laughter and crappy moments. wish nas was there to enjoy it with us. anyways, i looked fat in that shirt. my tummy are big man. lols!
i wanna go out and have fun. i don't want to be stuck at home, doing nothing except watching CSI all day for the past 3days. i'm bored! i always have the same old mundane routine. i will only sleep in the morning where people wake up to go to work or school. then i will wake up late in the afternoon and find myself doing the same thing all over again.
gosh. this is unhealthy y'know. man, it's like i've got no life.
ugh. i feel sorry for myself. haha.
here i am, blogging 'cause i can't sleep and doing nothing.
with that busy boyfriend of mine who rarely contacts me in the day which is one of the reasons why i won't wake up until the late afternoon.
'cause i know he won't contact me until midnight or when he's going home.
it's like history repeating itself.
'cause when i first knew him this is how we contact.
ya, i don't mind last time but now, it's different.
he's my boyfriend and not that i want him to always tell me about his whereabouts or anything.
at least have the initiative to contact me once in a while.
hais. guess i have to get used to it.
i'm pathetic aren't i?
i get jealous very easily and constantly i am afraid that you suddenly change into a completely different person.
sometimes i may say that i am indeed very naive about these kinds of stuffs.

anyways, this is just some random music video from youtube. enjoy~

Labels: ♥oh boy you suck(:

Saturday, February 21, 2009 ♥

♥ 5:05 AM

i absolutely love this movie.

the most romantic movie that i can never get sick of.

Labels: A Walk To Remember

Friday, February 20, 2009 ♥

♥ 6:25 PM

oh gee, i'm hungry.
haha.
haven't eaten the whole day.
am having cramps now, no appetite to eat.
this has been going on for the past two days alrdy.
i will only eat at night.
no, i'm not on a diet or i'm starving myself.
just don't feel like eating.
i'm bored!
i wanna go out but i have no money.
omg, i'm so frigging tired.
i don't have a proper rest y'know.
i would not sleep until 7am.
oh gosh.
"feels like insomnia.. ah ah feels like insomnia ah ah"
okay crap.
haha.
ugh.
damn, this cramp is really killing me.
i've alrdy taken the menstrual pill but still....
okay, whatever.

i met him y'day at cwp.
supposed to meet dayah but i couldn't ctc her.
her batt flat.
anyways, we are okay but it doesn't feel the same.
hopefully things will get better soon.
sooner or later i know that i have to get over it and move on.
and to my gfs who truly cared, i thank you guys once again.
if it weren't for you guys, i would still be fretting over the problems.

alright, i shall stop here.
have a great weekend people!
toodles~

Labels: am i good enough?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 ♥

♥ 4:48 AM

i'm hurting right now.
every single day, every single minute.
i may seem okay physically but i'm emotionally unstable inside.
i cried most of the time.
my anger for you turned into tears that i cried everday.
i cried when i'm thinking of you.
i cried when i hear our song.
i cried when i'm talking to you.
and i cried myself to sleep.
sometimes i wonder if you think of me when you're happy.
sometimes i wonder if you know that i am constantly thinking of you.
sometimes i wonder if you really miss me not being there with you.
i'm paranoid, i know.
i simply just can't trust you like last time.
i simply just can't act like nothing had happened.
i simply just can't let go and forget after what happened.
i simply just can't go back like we used to be in the past and pretend that everything is okay.
you may or may not understand what i felt all this while.
but do you know what i've gone thru?
i've suffered in silence.
i never really told you what i felt.
i don't want anything bad to happen.
but, i was mistaken.
it turned out otherwise.
instead, it got worse.
i should have spoken up for myself and told you what i really feel.
i thought you could figure me out but...
i don't blame you, i should have known better.
you know, sometimes i feel like screaming my lungs out without caring what others think of me.
i feel like running a thousand miles and forget everything.
yet, i still endured.
god knows how i truly feel.

whatever it is, i will still support you in what you're doing now and i'm proud that finally you have something worthwhile to do in your life.

sorry if my post is kinda emo.
not that it is but i'm just pouring out my feelings.
and know what?
i feel better already.
take care(:

Labels: will this ever end?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 ♥

♥ 4:52 PM

this is just a random post.
just wanna say thankyou to my gfs and especially shika who hv been there when i'm down.
anyways, tmr hv outing with ex-classmates at ecp.
i'm broke. shld i go?
i miss them. but, money is the issue.
then, on thurs i'm gg to hv dinner with dayah.
money is the issue again.
ugh, shucks man.
ok bye.

Labels: i miss you so bad.

Monday, February 16, 2009 ♥

♥ 12:15 AM

shika dedicates this song to me.

and to Eera, thks alot girl.

yes, i was indeed shocked but you gave me the strength to keep on going.

thank you once again(:

Sunday, February 15, 2009 ♥

♥ 5:15 PM

can i run away from all of this a little while?
i just can't take it any longer.
i can't catch my breathe.
i need some space for myself.
i cannot deal with all of this now.
it's driving me crazy.

all i wanted was a day to spend some quality time together.
is that too darn hard for you to fulfill what i wanted?
is it too much?
as much as i wanted to see you, i just can't bear to look at your face after what you have done to me.
you said you don't want to see me get hurt, so does that mean you closed your eyes when i cried?
do you even cared?
where were you when everything was falling apart?
you said you loved me so much, is that all lies?
as much as i wanted to trust you, i just can't.

you've changed.
where is the old you that i've known and loved dearly?
am i not important in your life anymore?
are your clans much more important than me?
are they your first priority?
you said you are busy.
ya, i belived you then.
but as days goes by, it seems that you are getting more busier.

we are supposed to have a date yesterday.
but, in the end you postponed it.
why?
you wanted to go to your classmate's birthday party.
and in the end i let you go.
why?
because all of your classmates are going and i dun want you to miss out.
you said we are able to meet yesterday.
from raffles place i went back to city hall to wait for you ALONE.
but, you are going to be late.
why?
because your clans are leaving the place at 10.
i'm there waiting at arnd 9.
did it ever occured to you that i was waiting for you ALONE??
why can't you just leave first without waiting for your clans?
now i know who's really important.

a million words would not change you,
i know because i tried.
neither would a million tears,
i know because i cried.

indeed, i am VERY disappointed.
but what can i do?
i love him so much but he is making me hating him even more rather than loving him.
and i dun even know if he thinks much about this because his mind is preoccupied with his sch projects.

"it really hurts when you expected so much more from the person you loved so much"

Labels: my life isn't a fairytale.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009 ♥

♥ 2:47 AM

i'm jealous, i duno why.

i'm upset, i duno why.

i'm sad, i duno why.

i'm paranoid, i duno why.

i kept asking myself, "why am i feeling this way?"

and i answer, " i duno why."

what's wrong with me?

am i crazy?

well, i know i'm not crazy.

something's bothering me, i just can't figure out what it is.

not just something, someone is also bothering me.

you know, sometimes being in a relationship is not as easy as it looks like.
you won't know what would happen in the future.
i know, many people have gone through hardships in most of their relationships.

but then, it's like hard to be in a relationship with someone that you have doubts about them.

okay, not that i don't trust my boyfriend or anything.

just the frightful feeling that i have if i lose him.

i mean, i can't predict the future.

i won't know what's going to happen to us.

alright, enough of me babbling about this nonsense.

i don't need to worry about this stuffs.

i just need to worry about my education.

haiss..

about that, i'm still waiting for my school posting.

so, keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard that i get the course that i wanted.

well, i dun really mind what school i get into as long as i have a school to go to.

okay, gotta stop here.

toodles.

Labels: i love you boyfriend.

Atyqah ♥

♥ Yours Truly.

Nur Atiqah Bte Shaharuddin
The name Iqa is known to most people.
One year older on every October 28th!
Ichan is her lover.

A very random & hyper girl who
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